In American society, we’ve been taught (sometimes directly, often subtly) that strength means having everything figured out on our own. From childhood through adulthood, the message is repeated in classrooms, workplaces, and even media: independence is admirable, self-reliance is heroic, and asking for help is a sign of weakness.

That message runs deep. And it’s damaging.

When we convince ourselves that needing help makes us “less,” we set the stage for people to suffer silently. Instead of reaching out, we hide our struggles. Instead of sharing our burdens, we carry them in isolation. On the surface, social media shows carefully curated lives: perfect families, dream careers, effortless confidence. But underneath those filtered moments, so many people are fighting battles no one else sees.

I know this because I’m one of them.

I struggle badly with asking for help. Even when I need it most, I find myself caught in the belief that I should be able to handle it alone. That admitting otherwise feels like failure. It’s a battle between the truth of being human – imperfect, vulnerable, in need of others – and the voice society has ingrained in me: be strong, don’t show weakness, figure it out yourself.

But here’s the reality: almost no one in this world has everything figured out. And pretending that we do only deepens the problem.

Asking for help needs to be normalized. Not just in small ways, but in the big cultural sense. Because the truth is, asking for help isn’t weakness. It’s courage. It takes strength to admit when we’re struggling. It takes trust to lean on another person. And it takes humility to say: I can’t do this alone, and that’s okay.

If you’ve ever felt ashamed for reaching out (or too afraid to) know that you’re not alone. I live there too, and find myself there often. And maybe the first step is reminding ourselves and each other that we don’t have to fight in silence.

Let’s start building a society where strength isn’t defined by how much we can carry alone, but by our willingness to share the weight.