All hail the Dorito man, dipped in deceit
With a skin tone kissed by a neon heat
Orange glow like a Fanta can fizzing
Yet he flinches at folks with complexions less “Christian”

He worships the white, with a wink and a wag
While his sherbet shell sizzles like a circus flag
Tangerine tyrant with a tower of gold
He hugs the elite while the working grow cold

He gorges on praise from the proudly deceived
While billionaires bask in the boons he conceived
Each policy passed like a platter for kings
While the poor pluck crumbs from imperial wings

He howls of salvation in rallies and rants
While stomping on rights like he’s crushing ants
They hail him their hero, their heavenly hack
“Yee-fuckin’-haw!” – as he stabs them in back

This ain’t your grandma’s gentle Christ
That guy healed the lame, showed love, paid the price
No sir, this savior sprays bronzer and bile
Scorns Samaritan grace with a gold-plated smile

The prostitute-loving prince of peace
Too soft for the storm of the orange-haired beast
This Jesus rides jets, not donkeys or mules
Turns water to vodka and sells hats to fools

He signed off your souls with a penthouse pen
Handed your data to Palantir’s men
Let the watchers watch and the miners mine
Behavioral breadcrumbs sold by design

He shakes hands with shadows and calls them his friends
While algorithms alter what “truth” recommends
A conscience-less coder beneath every click
Feeding the machine with your every tic

He hugs every flag like a bear on a binge
Then roars at the migrants with vengeance and cringe
“Send ’em back!” while his spray tan runs
Waging war with the warmth of a thousand suns

Yet they cheer with a chant and a cultish croon
As if Heaven itself now hums to his tune
He came not with miracles, mercy, or balm
But slogans and steak and a bombastic calm

All hail the Dorito, dictator divine
With cheese dust fingers and fascist design
Kneel to the king of the capital gains
As democracy drowns in fluorescent stains